| Location | Sittingbourne, Kent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 05/08/2008 |
| Date of Death | 05/08/2008 |
| Visitors | 5,283 since 27/08/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
I was 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant when my beautiful daughter was born. She weighed 1lb 5oz and had
my features. I always wanted a little girl and was so looking foward to having my little Angel. I
knew from the minute I knew I was having a girl, that I was going to call her Angel, and her middle
name Fay (the same as my mums). She was due on Nov 27th, 11 days after my 21st birthday.
My waters broke at 650 on August 4th. 1130 that same night was the last time the tiny beating of her
heart was heard. At 230 i was examined for the first time in the 14 hours i'd been at Chelsea +
Westminster Hospital. I had been trasferred from Medway Hospital that lunchtime. I was fully
dilated, but bleeding heavily. At 335 Angel-Fay was born peacefully. Her head circumference was a
mere 19cm. She was perfect, too perfect. A proper mini-me.
February 2009: I have just had a meeting with the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. They went
through my notes and said it was obvious there was a lack of care. At one point (when I had been
buzing for 20mins) a note had been written saying "Abbie has been buzzing for 20 minutes, all
midwives are on a break", disusting. They also told me, despite my requests to be examined earlier,
by the time I was finally examined, and Angel was announced dead, she had passed through my cervix,
and was here, unbeknown to me. I'm so hurt by what I was told. They are going to use Angels story in
training, but I don't feel this is enough. This could have all been prevented, and with the correct
care Angel may have stood a chance. Having found out I am expecting a little brother or sister for
Angel, I am going to bide my time, and see what action I am able to take, not for me but for
Angel-Fay, my number 1. She needs the justice she deserves, and I will only stop when I feel a sense
of closure.
Angel-Fay,
I love you so much, it's agony that you, my first child was taken away from me. But now you'll be my
lucky star + guardian angel, true to your name.
Its never goodbye, just goodnight, All my love forever, Mummy x x x x
Goodnight Sleeping Beauty, your mummies favourite Disney Character. Love Daddy x x x x
Such a small person, such a great loss x x x x x
Please feel free to also visit my Grandad's site and light a candle or write a tribute for him. It's
http://denis-holland.gonetoosoon.org. Also I have one for my old youkie Daisy,
http://daisy-holland.gonetoosoon.org. There is now a site for my sisters dog Gizmo Holland on
http://gizmo-holland.petsgonetoosoon.org. They can also be found on my garden, Abbie xXx
Happy Birthday to you in heaven
words always seem so hard to find, when i see the sadness in your mummys eyes, but i truley believe you are the star that shines at night...the one that we all see shining so so bright!!...you twinkle to get your mummys attention....to show her that you are there!!....you may not be here to hold and to touch, but your spirit lives within us all of the people that would of loved you so!!...im looking outside now as i write this and all i can see is the sun shining, peacefulness and 1 beautiful butterfly flying from leaf to leaf...peacefully and happily playing!!....you have done that and that will be my memory of you today on your 1st birthday....and im sure everyone of us today will see or hear something that will be a true memory of you!!....lots of love deli xxxxxxxx....my candle will burn today in memory of a princess x
one year old today
auntie luc hasnt wrote to you in a while darling angel but that doesnt mean i dont think of you every day because i do, and talk to you every night before bed, and every night when aunties out the back smoking i look up into the sky and think of you and grandad denis and sure enough there shines our star bright in the sky and i smile cos i know thats you and grandad watching over us.dont be sad when you see us cry its just because we love and miss you so much, but i know you are having all our love from grandad and he is looking after you just fine.AT 40clock this morning a year ago nanny lisa phoned me and said you were born, my heart broke losing you as did your poor mummy and daddy,nanny lisa uncle guy and Jay but my heart must of mended a bit cos tonight its broken all over again. i love you angel-fay and will forever. auntie luc xxx
Hello Angel,
I just thought I would drop by to wish you a Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven. I hope you have a lovely day in the clouds playing with Isabella.
Please keep watching over your Mummy for me, I know she misses you so very much, thank you sweetie x
I hope you liked your teddy bear I sent to Mummy for you, Isabella has one the same, so you can play with them together.
Thank you for making me and your Mummy meet, your Mummy is a lovely person and im lucky to have her as my friend and thats because of you and Isabella xx
Sweetest Dreams
Lots of floaty kisses
Deb xXx
Time is no healer
I'm lying here,
In the dark of the night,
My eyes are tired,
But I'm putting up a fight.
My mind is full of thought,
There's no end in sight,
Of the turmoil I go through,
Day and night.
On the outside,
I flash a big smile,
But on the inside,
I've been crying a while.
Tears of longingness,
Tears of hope,
Tears that drain me,
But that help me to cope.
Tears of sadness,
Tears of dread,
Tears of wondering,
Why my daughter is dead.
A year has passed,
And still I don't know why,
Why it was you, Angel-Fay,
Who had to die.
Next week looms the day,
When I said Goodbye,
A year ago to my baby,
It marks the start of my cry.
There'll be no celebration,
Or no Birthday cheer,
For the baby I lost,
This time last year.
There'll be only darkness,
On this sad day,
Mixed with longing and wishing,
For my Angel-Fay.
Mummies Girl, I miss you so much and still find each day a struggle. Everynight I whisper Goodnight to your ashes which lay beside me.
I Love you xxxxx
Dear Angel
Hello Princess,
Mummy finally has an internet connection at her flat so Mummy and Daddy can update your page even more now.
We both miss you so much Princess.
Mummy went to your memorial the other day and it broke my heart to see it had been neglected, but now Mummy is on Maternity Leave, it won't happen.
Mummy has got just over 8 weeks until your little sister is due to enter the world, although I think we both know it will be earlier.
I have so much to thank you for. You have kept us both safe and healthy. You are a true Angel.
Daddy is having a few problems at work, so I am asking that as werll as focusing on Poppy and I, that you guide Daddy as well. A lot of responsibility for a little Angel who is not even one yet, but we know how special you are and that you can cope.
Hope you're behaving up there for Grandad, although I can imagine you are perfect, not like naughty mummy when she was little.
I can't believe it is nearly your birthday/anniversary Less than 2 weeks.
It's going to be so tough, but I know you are with me in spirit, and are always in my heart.
Take care of yourself gorgeous.
Much Love Always,
Mummy
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To Angel
Mummy is sorry she has not been on here recenetly. I have moved in with Daddy and we do not have internet at our new place yet, so have found it hard getting on here.
I try and use the computer on my lunch, but a lot of the time there is someone on the internet.
You are still the last person I say Goodnight too, and still the first person I want to see in the morning.
Mummy is now nearly 25 weeks pregnant, am a week further then when you was born. Thank you so much for getting me and your little sister to this stage.
Please ask Poppy to stay inside Mummy until shes strong enough to be born.
You're 10 months old now, can't believe it. I miss you so much, things do not get easier.
You are always on my mind, and will always be Mummys Princess.
Your little sister is kicking alot now, but I guess you know that. I know you're there to feel her kicks.
You will always be my number one, my girl forever.
Love you lots,
Mummy, and Poppy
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
x.x.x
thinking of u angel. been sad about u last night & 2day.
wish u was here with us.
lots of cuddles , xxxxxx
You're always on my mind
Although I don't write a lot
Or cry as much no more
Doesn't mean I don't miss you
Or love you anymore
You're always im my thoughts
Deep in my heart and dreams
Always the last person I wish goodnight
And the first person I want to greet
Whenever I achieve something
I look up to the sky
To tell my baby girl how happy I am
With that familiar tear in my eye
Whenever Poppy fidgets
I thank you a million times
Because if it wasn't for you
Mummy wouldnt have another girl of mine
As I close my eyes at night
I whishper up into space
"Goodnight my baby Angel"
And kiss your beautiful face
Your picture is all I have
To remind me of that day
But in my heart you live on
And there you will always stay
So if Mummy doesnt cry
It doesnt mean I dont miss you
For everytime I close my eyes
All I can do is see you
Noone will replace you
You will always be my girl
Even when Poppy comes along
For you I'd still give the world
I miss you more each day
And wish so much you was here
But each day, tear or no tears
Is drawing you and I near
Not long now Princess. Always in my heart.
I love you.
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello Sweet Angel-Faye
Hello Angel, hope you are having fun playing in Heaven with my sweet Angel Lewis..
wow your a big girl now bet your crawling along the clouds playing nicely with all the other angels..
Lewis's mummy just wants to say that even though i didnt know you or your mummy before you became an Angel your mummy has been so nice to me when ever i have spoken to her, and she never stops talking about you.. which is always lovely to hear.x you are a beautiful beautiful Angel who is so very much missed..X
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